So much of our everyday life revolves around our relationships. Not just romantic partners; I’m talking about relatives, friends, and more. Meanwhile, much of our adult relationships are based on our childhood experiences. That’s when we develop the attachment style that can follow us for the rest of our life.
Fortunately, there are powerful steps you can take to make changes at any point. An excellent example is called Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). This mode of therapy focuses on the patterns you are following in your relationship. Such an approach can empower you to create deeper and more secure bonds.
How Does EFT Therapy Work?
If you are part of a couple (or family) that is experiencing distress, EFT may be the right choice for you. Relational distress might be caused by factors like:
– One of you being mentally or physically ill
– Fear
– A betrayal that leads to a loss of trust
– Anger issues
– Emotions like guilt, shame, and jealousy
Regardless of the issue at hand, EFT is designed to guide you through the changes you need to make in the present moment and the emotional barriers. This happens in therapy for couples, individuals, or families through the following three stages:
1) De-escalation
By the time you’ve come to EFT, you are probably stuck in a very negative cycle. Before true progress can be made, it is critical to de-escalate what is happening. EFT typically begins in this mode.
2) Reframing
From there, each partner will be asked to discuss their concerns, fears, and issues openly. This is done in a way that encourages them to look to each other for the support they crave. Such a positive shift is crucial in deactivating the above-mentioned negative cycles.
3) Consolidation
Once situated in a healthier state of mind, the couple is better able to identify the habits and patterns that brought them toward conflicts in the first place. Once recognized, these patterns are much, much easier to address and change.
Benefits of Emotionally Focused Therapy
During your sessions, the therapist gets a firsthand look at your dynamics. It’s a starting point to start addressing your interactions in the other parts of your life. Safe and open discussions can tie all this together to past experiences—all the way back to childhood. In EFT therapy, you develop and learn new ways of communicating and perceiving. You practice being more vulnerable and honest. From there, you can attain several benefits like:
– Practicing respectful collaboration as you apply new strategies and interventions.
– Expanding your range of response to emotional situations.
– Always seeking a positive shift in times of distress.
– Fostering a deeper and more secure connection between partners.
Multiple Uses of EFT
Most people associate EFT with couples counseling. However, this modality offers relief in other settings:
– Families: Within family systems, individuals may feel as if their feelings and needs are neglected. EFT helps you view these perceptions through the lens of overall negative family patterns.
– Individuals: Each of us is responsible for the work we’re willing to do. EFT is helpful to individuals in that it prepares them for the inevitable conflicts of being part of a couple and/or family.
EFT and You
Emotionally Focused Therapy can involve as few as 4 to 10 sessions. Relationships of any kind are fraught with potential tension and strife. Addressing this while repairing any subsequent damage is essential for both partners.
At Onyx, our experienced and caring therapists can help guide you through that work and bring you closer to having the kind of profound connections you crave. Connect with us to book your session.
