When you get older, everything tends to look and feel a little more gray.
Your hair starts to lose its pigmentation. What used to be the natural color of your hair since you were a child is now turning into shades of gray.
At some point, you reach an age where you decide to retire. You no longer have to commute into an office every day. Your children have all grown up and moved out. It’s just you and your partner. Or so you thought. Some couples have trouble when the “gray” shows up, and a gray divorce happens.
What is a gray divorce? Let’s learn more.
What is a Gray Divorce?
The term gray divorce is a new term used to describe the increase in divorce rates among older couples. A gray divorce is a divorce that happens between couples who are at least 50 years or older. This term is used to describe the divorces that take place later in life with couples who have been married for a long period of time.
What Causes a Gray Divorce?
While each couple will experience their own reasons for divorcing, gray divorces tend to have their own set of implications that impact older adults and couples. These are some of the most common causes or reasons for a gray divorce:
- Cultural shifts
- Empty nest syndrome
- Financial disagreements
- Financial independence
- Generational differences
- Life expectancy
- Reduced divorce stigma
- Society impacts
- Staying together “for the kids”
- Years of disconnection
The Impact of a Gray Divorce
While no divorce is easy, gray divorces tend to bring on unique challenges that can impact older adults and how they can move forward in their lives post-divorce. These are some of the challenges that older adults can experience during and after a gray divorce:
Emotional Impact
The transition of a divorce later in life can be an even harder adjustment to make. When you have a partner for most of your life, and you feel safe and secure with your life and that person, you can face a lot of unknowns you haven’t had to deal with in a while. A gray divorce can bring on emotional challenges like:
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Grief
- Health challenges
- Isolation
- Loneliness
- Loss of identity
- Stress
Financial Struggles
No matter what age you are when you get a divorce, it can involve financial complications like dividing assets and resources. A gray divorce presents additional challenges, such as dividing personal possessions, properties, investments, pensions, and even retirement savings. A gray divorce can also impact healthcare costs if one spouse relies on the other for insurance benefits or income.
Supporting Older Children
When divorce happens later in life, there isn’t usually a battle of custody since children are adults, grown up, and living their own lives. That being said, if a parent still supports their adult children or even their grandchildren, this can impact other areas of the family.
Next Steps
Any type of major change that life brings can be difficult to navigate. Divorces are never easy. When you experience a divorce later in life, it can bring on additional challenges that you may not have had to consider when you were younger. Try not to be so hard on yourself during this time. Give yourself a little grace and enough time to process all the different emotions you’re experiencing. Take care of yourself and find ways to manage your stress levels. It may feel like you are alone, but support is available.
It’s also important to seek additional support during this time. Lean on your loved ones or seek the expertise of a counsellor or mental health professional. At Onyx Counselling and Psychology, we are here to help you navigate this challenging time. Reach out to our office today to see how our team of competent and caring therapists can support you.
