A child’s emotional development is incredibly dependent on the behaviour of their caretakers. Yes, of course, each of us is born with unique characteristics that can shape our personalities. However, many other factors will also play major roles. For example, whether or not a young person develops self-esteem is much more than genetic factors.
Generally speaking, self-esteem initially arises from a sense of feeling loved and safe. In such a setting, a child can feel secure enough to try new things, trust the world, and tackle new challenges. Therefore, parents and caretakers should understand how to provide the kind of environment in which a child can comfortably explore and grow.
It’s Not as Simple as Praising Them!
A child’s emotions are as complex — in their own way — as any adult’s. Pep talks are great, but self-esteem requires more. In fact, relying too much on praise can end up having a negative effect. Children need to understand that developing skills requires time and effort. Too much praise can give them the false impression that they don’t need to do the work. This will be brought to light once they start spending more time with their peers and can better gauge where they stand.
A few suggestions:
- Aim your praise at their effort: Results aren’t the only goal. Let them learn to recognize the importance of progress and perspective.
- Don’t lie to them: It’s tempting to offer praise no matter what, but kids can sense what you’re doing or will catch on as they get older. Such an approach can cause them to not trust what you say.
- Focus on strengths: When your child is struggling with something, there’s no value in criticism. Remind them what they need to do and keep them encouraged. Be sure to mention their strengths.
Give Them Some Space
Initially, you’ll have to be hands-on. But, as soon as it’s feasible, let them learn through experience. Sure, they’ll make mistakes, and you won’t enjoy witnessing them. However, they’ll feel more proud of themselves when they figure it out on their own. It’s self-empowering and a useful way to start comprehending the reality of consequences.
Case in point: Your child may be adamant about wearing a particular outfit but you can see that it’s impractical. By letting them make their own wardrobe choice, you will give them the chance to directly grasp the concept of cause-and-effect.
As they grow up, you’ll have plenty of opportunities to let your kids take healthy risks. Perhaps it’s skateboarding or bike riding. While your imagination runs wild with visions of injuries, they see this as freedom and a way to fit in. Truth be told, they’ll probably try skateboarding at some point — with or without your permission. Thus, your support (and safety tips) will remind them that you have their back and will love them even if they fail.
A Few More Ways to Develop Self-Esteem in Your Child
- Lead by Example: Your children are always watching. Let them see how you go about your tasks, chores, responsibilities, and responding to others. Even when things don’t go your way, take care of your business with a healthy attitude, and don’t become a role model of griping and complaining.
- Emphasize Their Social Life: Be a guide as to what to respect about potential friends and what it means to be supported. This can help them not only find good friends but also be a good friend. Once again, lead by example for what healthy relationships can look like.
- Teach Them About Giving: Nothing builds self-esteem like being a giver. Make your home a place of kindness and generosity.
Another way to lead by example is to ask for help. If you find yourself struggling to help your child, if you are looking for support for your child, reach out to Onyx today. We have a team of skilled and competent therapists who are waiting to support you and your child.
