Infidelity has been an issue in monogamous relationships for as long as human history can remember. But with the advent of the internet and social media, a new form of cheating has emerged: online infidelity.
While traditional forms of infidelity involve physical intimacy with someone outside of the relationship, online infidelity involves emotional or sexual connections formed through digital avenues like messaging apps, dating websites, and social media platforms.
But how does online infidelity affect relationships when there’s typically no “real life” physical contact?
Erosion of Trust
Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship, and once it’s broken, it can be difficult to repair. Online infidelity can be just as devastating as physical infidelity because it still involves lying and deceit.
Even if a partner hasn’t engaged in any physical contact with someone outside of the relationship, the act of hiding an emotional connection with someone else can be a huge breach of trust. This can lead to feelings of betrayal, anger, and hurt. The betrayed partner may never recover their feelings of trust for the other person.
Emotional and Physical Detachment
When one person is emotionally invested in someone else outside the relationship, it can be hard for them to keep up emotional intimacy with their main partner. This detachment can manifest itself in different ways, such as a lack of communication or a decrease in physical intimacy.
Once the infidelity is discovered, the hurt partner can also feel this emotional attachment—it’s hard to be intimate with a partner you know has had romantic and sexual thoughts about other people. So this emotional detachment deepens on both sides, creating a rift that’s could be difficult to bridge again.
Lowered Self-esteem
The discovery that a significant other is engaging in online infidelity can lead to feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem. The betrayed partner may begin to question their own worth and wonder why their partner felt the need to seek emotional or sexual connections with someone else.
If there’s also been a dip in physical and emotional intimacy between them, the betrayed partner may worry about how their partner perceives them and whether they’re still attractive. This can lead to a cycle of negative self-talk and further damage to the relationship.
Communication Breakdown
When one partner is hiding an emotional or sexual connection with someone else, they may be less likely to communicate openly and honestly with their partner. In their online affair, they’ve invested their emotional energy and have prioritized someone outside the relationship.
Typically, this deepens resentment on both sides. This can make it difficult for the betrayed partner to express their feelings and concerns and may ultimately lead to a breakdown in communication. When this is compounded by a loss of trust, partners are less motivated to communicate after an infidelity is discovered. This lack of communication can further erode the relationship and make it difficult to rebuild trust.
Getting Help
If you’ve discovered an infidelity in your relationship, you need to take stock and evaluate. Infidelity doesn’t have to mean the death of a partnership. However, the decision to separate or to work through it should be intentional. If you and your partner feel ready to work on your relationship, it’s best to communicate with a therapist to guide you.
Your therapist will provide you with neutral ground to discuss your feelings and navigate through conflict. You’ll also learn how to communicate with one another again and to address the root cause of the online infidelity.
To find out more about how therapy can help you and your partner process an online infidelity, please reach out to us. Our skilled and experienced therapists can help you navigate infidelity.
