We never stop making decisions. It could be as simple as what we wear or which lane we drive in. Then again, sometimes, our decisions are major. What university should I go to? Should we start a family? Is it time to relocate? Do I leave this job? Should I stay or leave this relationship? As we contemplate such options, we knowingly and unknowingly consider myriad reasons for our choices. In the “unknowingly” category, we might have factors that relate to traumatic experiences we’ve endured—especially during childhood.
Trauma and complex trauma can have a severe effect on your ability to make healthy decisions. If you’re struggling with ongoing emotional and cognitive issues, you’ll likely see the world in a distorted manner.
How Do We Make Major Life Decisions?
Generally speaking, the process involves us referring to stored stimuli to learn from the past. For anyone who has had their life altered by trauma, it’s not this simple—not even close. Their storied memories tell a story of fear, hyper-vigilance, and anxiety. Being in such a state, as you might imagine, is less than ideal for any decision. When pondering major life transitions and choices, it can be downright debilitating and dysfunctional.
How Trauma Impacts Major Life Decisions
Just because you’re struggling with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD) doesn’t mean the rest of the world will conspire in your favour. It may not feel fair, but you have to continue making major decisions whether you’ve healed or not. Here are two big ways trauma alters your decision-making process:
Processing and Cognition
When typical brain function is distorted, we can find it daunting to accurately interpret the circumstances in our lives. This reduces our ability to think clearly and calmly.
Intrusive Thoughts
Until trauma has been processed and resolved, we can be very susceptible to sudden, unwelcome thoughts—sometimes in the form of flashbacks and nightmares. A trauma survivour can be unable to tell what’s real, what’s in the past, and how to move forward. In more severe cases, intrusive thoughts can manifest as visual and auditory hallucinations.
These realities can increase the likelihood that you might struggle with:
- A lack of self-care habits
- Choosing to self-medicate
- Social withdrawal
- Self-doubt
- Low self-esteem
- Impulsivity
- Inability to effectively regulate emotions
- Inability to accurately assess risk
This combination of factors creates a perfect storm of confusion and fear. However, as stated above, the decisions you need to make do not wait. They demand your full attention at precisely the time when your attention is scattered. How can you manage such a scenario?
Making Major Life Decisions Despite Trauma
Let’s first be clear: Healing trauma is not a solo act. You’ll need a blend of professional support and self-help, for example:
- Recognize what’s happening and that you’re being called to practice patience with yourself, so take it at the pace that works for you.
- Embrace self-care and self-compassion. Take care of the basics (healthy eating, sufficient sleep, physical activity, and stress management) while treating yourself as you’d treat a loved one.
- Don’t withdraw. Lean on your trusted friends, family members, and professionals to guide you as you manage your recovery while simultaneously making important decisions.
Therapy Is an Ideal and Major Life Decision to Make
For starters, release any beliefs that tell you that you’re alone. The help you need and deserve is just a click or phone call away. When meeting regularly with a trauma-informed therapist, you are positioning yourself to have access to the proper information and treatment. What once felt impossible can slowly but surely become a new normal for you. Trauma doesn’t mean you cannot heal and thrive again.
Reach Out for Support!
At Onyx, we have a team of trauma-informed therapists who can support your healing journey. They utilize evidence-based therapeutic approaches like EMDR, Narrative Therapy, or CBT, and will tailor treatment to best suit your needs. If you would like support for your healing and recovery, reach out to our office to schedule your first session with a compassionate and experienced therapist.
