There isn’t a how-to guide when it comes to grief support. While everyone will experience it at least once throughout their lifetime, there isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach to how to handle or navigate it.
The grieving process is unique to each individual, depending on their relationship with the person who passed and the event that claimed their life. Losing a loved one is never easy, even if you know it’s coming. Death is inevitable. Even though everyone knows this, it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with.
As a parent, you want to show up and help your child, no matter what, through the good and bad times. But what are you supposed to do when you’re not really sure how to show up for yourself or them? Whether the grief impacts your teen or both of you, it’s important to help them during this time.
This is how to provide grief support for adolescents.
Let Them Know You’re There for Them
As a parent, your natural instinct may be to fix what’s broken. When it comes to something like grief, you can’t fix anything. The grieving process is unique to each individual, which means no matter how much your teen is struggling with a loss, you have to allow them to go through the process according to their own terms. Try not to push them, especially if they’re not ready. Let your teen know that you’re there, in whatever way they need you to show up for them during this time. You can offer to be a shoulder to cry on, someone to listen to them, or can offer up any advice. Wait for them to come to you, and be there for them.
Listen to Them
Try to be patient and allow your teen to come to you. They will come when they’re ready, but pushing them to talk to you won’t speed up the process. When your teen is ready, they will come to you. Instead of immediately giving advice, just listen to your teen without interrupting or judging them. Let your teen know this is a safe space for them to express themselves.
Ask Questions
Instead of asking yes or no questions, try to ask open-ended questions that allow your teen to talk and express themselves a bit more. This shows your teen that you care and are there for them, which can be comforting in itself. This type of questioning can also help you get a better idea of how they’re feeling and how they’re processing everything.
Maintain a Normal Routine
Grief can take control over someone’s life, creeping into their normal schedule and routine, making everything feel like it’s out of their control. You can help your teen during this time by maintaining a normal schedule and routine for your entire family. Try to make sure they’re sticking to the normal routines that they were doing before the loss happened. This can include the times they go to bed at night, when they wake up in the morning, their after-school activities, and when they eat. Maintaining their normal schedule can help them feel a little more in control again.
Seek Additional Support
While you can be there for your teen, there isn’t a replacement for seeking additional support through a mental health professional. If your teen is struggling during this time, reaching out for additional help doesn’t mean you’re not a good parent. In fact, it actually shows how much you care and want your child to be healthy and happy. When your child is ready, talk to them about your concerns and offer the option of a support group or meeting with a therapist. Your teen may not be open to the idea at first, but encouraging them to dive deeper into their emotions in a safe and secure space may help.
If your teen is struggling to cope due to a loss event in their life, reach out to our office today. At Onyx, we have several therapists who can work with teens in navigating grief. Reach out for an initial consult or to book a session.
