If you’re a parent or about to be one, you’ve undoubtedly researched different parenting styles. Maybe you already have an idea of the kind of parent you want to be and how you want to guide and discipline your child.
One particular parenting style that has gained popularity over the last few years is gentle parenting. Gentle parents are certainly not new, but the idea of gentle parenting has become more organized. You can find plenty of information on how to gently parent your children, including what it looks like when you’re trying to discipline and redirect.
But is it the best approach for your family?
Let’s examine some of the pros and cons of gentle parenting so you can determine if it’s the best style for you and your children.
Pro: It Teaches Empathy
Kids don’t always realize that some of their actions could be considered “wrong” unless they’re directed otherwise. Gentle parenting helps with that by focusing on empathy. It shows children how their actions can impact others.
Most parenting styles teach that actions have consequences. Gentle parenting takes that one step further by focusing on the feelings those consequences create.
Con: It’s Time-Consuming
Gentle parenting might prove to be more challenging if you have a busy schedule and little time to devote to a particular parenting style. It takes time, patience, and repetition. You have to learn how to understand your child (and vice versa), and that’s not something that will happen by giving them a few minutes here and there.
While gentle parenting is different from helicopter parenting, you have to be present enough with your child to teach them how to understand their own behaviours so they can make good, positive choices. Eventually, they’ll use that knowledge to make healthy choices on their own, but it’s a lesson that takes time to learn.
Pro: It’s Personal
Because gentle parenting requires you to spend so much time working with your child, you can learn more about their strengths and weaknesses. Are there areas where they tend to struggle?
For example, if your child has a hard time following the rules, you can adjust your strategy to spend more time on that. You can find ways to let them know that rule-following might feel like a challenge, but it does not last forever, and once they do what they are supposed to today, they can get the satisfaction of whatever reward comes next.
Con: Common Misconceptions
There are still some stereotypes and stigmas surrounding gentle parenting that you’ll have to ignore if you choose to go this route. Some people think being a gentle parent means you’re more interested in being your child’s friend than anything else.
That’s simply not true.
Rather, gentle parenting is about being a team with your child, and letting them know you can work together to develop life skills and solve problems. Your child knows they can learn from you and with you, rather than fearing you if they make a mistake.
Making the Most of Gentle Parenting
Gentle parenting requires solid expectations and boundaries. Make sure everyone who has contact with your child is on board with this strategy so you can remain consistent. Plan ahead and understand that some days will be easier than others. You’ll have to know how to deal with negative behaviours from your child — they will happen.
But by choosing to stay calm and patient, you can make the most of gentle parenting. You might even find that it’s a fun and enjoyable way to get to know your child while watching them learn to navigate life with empathy and understanding.
At Onyx, our experienced team is here to support you on your parenting journey. We understand the challenges and struggles that parents face and we can help you maneuver the obstacles and lay the course toward a parenting strategy that works best for you and your family. Reach out today!
